A Not So Blue Monday

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

No, you had cake for breakfast! Hello pals, I know it's not Monday. But I've had a difficult couple of days and completely forgot about this corner of happy on the internet. I've been very busy and on Monday I kind of crashed and only had the energy to cry a lil' bit and have a bath (that sounds so sad, but it's the truth). However when I did try and hit the hay, I only had 2 hours sleep so was a little zomebie-like on Tuesday and had to go and work. But now I am re-juvinated and feeling a little better, I always knew this would be hard and I need to give myself some time. It's okay not to do it all, here are the things that made me particularly happy this week:

'Growth' Pin Board________________________________________________________________

I started a new pin board that revolves around change and growth. It's very pastel and very calming and I just love the asthetic, I like to visit it and add to it when I've had a particularly difficult day, look at that pastel tho'

The Baftas and The Grammy's ______________________________________________________

I absolutely love awards season and it's a pretty big thing in my house and always has been. We always get together to watch them and comment on who won and who should have won. I just love the whole concept of awards season and seeing what people are wearing, so much McQueen this year which was nice, because it was so close to his anniversary. The Baftas always allows me to make a list of films that I haven't yet seen, just in time to watch them before The Oscars. This year I've got Moonlight and Manchester by the Sea on the top of my list. The Grammy's aren't my favourite of awards shows because it's verrry American and I mean that in the nicest way, but it's so cheesy and I hate the way they play really sinister music if people go over their speech time, it's so cringe. However I do enjoy the performances and Beyonce just...Oh my, she was Queen.


On Sunday when I was feeling particularly low, I decided to go to the shops (which was a big thing because I only seem to leave the house for work at the moment and that's not good, no) and pick up some ingredients for a massive cake. I followed Lauren's recipe where the main ingredient is diet coke, I know right?! But it worked an absolute dream and I really enjoyed the making and baking process, it was wonderful to put all my focus into making something and not think for a while. And I now have a massive cake to delve into when I need a study snack or (let's not lie here) something incredibly un-healthy for breakfast. Yep, cake for breakfast it's where I'm at right now. 

Listening to // Rag 'n' Bone Man_____________________________________________________

Yep, his album came out this week and it's just amazing. So blusey and souley and raw, I love it. My favourite songs at the moment are Skin, As You Are and Innocent Man. But I like the album as a whole and I don't think there's a bad song on there, it's great for listening to when you're making crisis cake. 


How was your Monday?

Kat Von D Lock-It Foundation | Light 44

Saturday, 11 February 2017

I have been on the hunt for the perfect cruelty-free foundation for what feels like years, I actually think it might be years. I just can't seem to find one that has amazing coverage and perfectly suits my skin tone. I saw so many reviews of this foundation and I seriously thought it was going to be the one, but alas. It's so close to being perfect, but after a month of wearing it, it just doesn't cut it, soz' Kat. 

Before ordering this foundation I did a lot of research, I watched a tonne of Youtube videos and read so many blog posts. It's £27.00 and being a poor student that's quite an investment for something I put on your face almost every day. I was originally going to get the Light 42 shade, but it was sold out for weeks and I eventually gave up, big mistake. The pale skinned beauty gurus on Youtube told me that even if you are pale, this shade is still okay and great for pale skin and wont turn you orange whatsoever, hmmm. I was skeptikal but I had ran out of my Bodyshop BB cream and was desperate for more coverage, so I added it to my basket and crossed my fingers. 

It arrived and I put it straight onto my hand, you're not meant to do this because the skin tones are completely different, someone should have told me that before I squirted a bit onto my hand. I gasped at the colour difference, "awww shit what have I done omg no!" But with a positive outlook I applied it to my foundation brush and spread it across my face , blended it like I had never blended before and was pretty happy with the result. After applying powder and blending it hard into my skin, the ornageness had gone and it looked really good with contour, success! Until I went downstairs into the bathroom and saw how much darker my skin was in natural light, SHIT! I wore it like this for a week to see if I could get used to it, but decided it was too dark and I needed help from those delightful shade adjusting drops from Bodyshop. It worked much better once I purchased those. 

Application was still a bit tricky, it's very full coverage so it comes out thick and one squirt can cover your whole face, which is great for cost effectiveness. But it does feel like you are smothering paint all over your face when you use a brush, it smells like paint too, which I really am not a fan of. So I decided to invest in a beauty blender, I'd heard a lot about them and how they work better with full coverage foundation. I patted it onto my skin the next morning with the beauty blender and saw a huge difference in how it sat on my face, it was still very much like face paint, but thought it looked much more natural. 

The only real problem with this product for me is the smell and the tackiness, even if you do powder. I've found it to come off throughout the day, when I call someone I'll take my phone away and it will be covered in bloody horrible foundation marks! I just think it's a bit too thick for me and I maybe need somehing more water based. It's a great product and it does its job and I think if stupid me didn't buy the WRONG shade for my own skin, it would be much better. I was just surprised seems as this is meant to be a foundation designed towards the paler complexion, how orange toned Light 44 is. Maybe I'm just a translucent alien or something but, if you too feel like a translucent alien; be patient and wait to buy the lightest shade because then you wont have to lose an extra tenner for shade adjuster drops, jus' saying. 

I will probably finish up this foundation with help from my beauty blender and shade adjuster drops but I think the search continues for the perfect, creuelty free, translucent alien foundation. If you have any recommendations please, please let me know. Maybe the Tarte one or something that people always go on about? I have no clue.  


A Not So Blue Monday

Monday, 6 February 2017

I've been busy this week, which has allowed me to distract myself from the current situation , which has been nice. I don't know if distracting is a good thing but it's certainly better than bits of reality right now so I think I'll just keep being busy. Here are the things that have made me particularly happy this week:

Starting back at Uni________________________________________________________________

Yep, I've only just started back properly. I haven't had lectures since the end of December and that's a bloody long time seems I'm paying £9000 for my degree, but whatever it's how Uni's work right? We've been having some really interesting lectures this week and it's making me really excited for the semester ahead. One of my modules is Stress and Stress Management which I think is hilarious with how stressed we already are *manic hysterical laughter from the whole class*. 

Yoga Classes______________________________________________________________________

Yoga's going so well and it's helping so much with what's going on right now. I was top of the class last week, because aparently I have 'good knees' which is nice to know. We did a pose in which we had to sit on our knees and basically do a back bend and I was the only one in the class that could get to the floor! I was so proud of myself and my surprisingly bendy body, gold star for me!

Conan Gray ______________________________________________________________________

Conan's a smaller youtuber who came up in my suggestions list, I watched one of his videos and fell in love. With him, with his asthetic, his video ideas. I want to be friends with him so badly he's a bloody wonderful  human bean! 

T2 Trainspotting___________________________________________________________________

This fucking film! I was aprahensive at first because Trainspotting is one of my all time favourite films, but I was absolutely blown away. It was perfect, the plot made sense for a sequel, the nostalgia was so strong and the cinematography; oh my god the cinamatogrphy was probably (and I say this with a pinch of salt) the best cinamatography I've seen in a Danny Boyle film and I'm a massive fan of Danny Boyle! There were so many subtle nods to the old film, but still enough new material so you're not just relying on nostalgia alone, it was perfect and I'm going to see it again very soon. Choose Life and all that. 

Hot Water Bottles__________________________________________________________________

When I lived at home I used to sleep with a hot water bottle every night. But when I moved to Uni I just kind of, forgot they existed, does that make sense? I just kind of forgot that my bed could be warm when I get into it and I wouldn't have feet like blocks of ice. The funny thing is I actually had one at Uni in my cupboard and I found it recently. So now my bed has been warm and toasty once again and that makes me incredibly happy. I'm such an old woman. 

Red Oaks_________________________________________________________________________

This week I made the move to Amazon Prime. This is a big deal after being a long standing Netflix user but after much time on Netflix, I feel like I've watched everything and also it would be nice to give my bank account some relief. Also if you're a student you get Prime free for 6 months so win win. I've wanted to watch this show for a while because it's got one of my faves in it Craig Roberts, he was talking on an interview about it a few months ago and it sounded right up my street. I started watching it on Wednesday and I've already finished both seasons. It was really feel good and I loved the 80's vibes, also if you miss the Summer holidays give this a watch it's perfect for when the weather's so grey and gloomy outside!

This Video about Dissertations_______________________________________________________

Another Youtube video I know. What can I say, I've been spending a lot of evenings in bed drowning in Youtube okay. This video though, it came to me when I needed it most I was feeling very un-inspired and panicked about my dissertation but Jimmy's advice gave me a bit of hope and I've ignited the spark again to get the bloody thing done and enjoy while I'm doing it. To anyone doing a disseration who doesn't feel like they have time to watch the video cause you know, you're a better student than me and all that; he basically explains that you should see your dissertation as an oppurtunity and not a chore and I'm going to take that mantra all the way through mine. I love my topic and I actually loved doing the research so why shouldn't I love the write up as well. We've got this pals!

Listening to // Banks - The Alter______________________________________________________

I loved this album already but on a particularly difficult day this week, I ran a bath and listened to it from start to finish and I think I might have found my signiture 'break up' album. It's just so raw and empowering and the lyrics are beautiful, I think Banks might be one of my all time fave artists now, I love her and everything she writes. 

How was your Monday?


Saturday, 4 February 2017

On Thursday we had a lecture that really made me ponder. It was all about the stages of adulthood, if you study psychology you will know these stages off by heart so I'm not going to go into them in too much detail but here are some links if you're interested and a really cool Ted Talk. My lecturer asked us to raise our hands if we felt that we were an adult, and only about 5 people in the whole class raised their hands. I didn't raise my hand, because I don't feel like an adult right now. If he asked me a few weeks ago I probably would have raised my hand and that's the thing about adulthood, it's a spectrum. 

All of the theories surrounding adulthood tell us that we have to reach a particualar stage at a particular age (ooo rhymes!) But I think that's the wrong way of thinking about it. You only feel like an adult when you have your shit together, and how many times do you really have your shit together though? When can you finally say that yes, I have my shit together and yes, I am now adult, I don't think you can. I think that there are some days where you can be cruising through life thinking you're a complete GirlBoss and then next thing you know you're crying on your kitchen floor because you can't light the gas oven (not speaking from experience or anything). Adulthood is a spectrum, a spectrum that is constantly changing and moving up and down. Many people would disagree with me, like most white-man-colonial psychologists they would say that if I don't feel like an adult now, that's my own fault and nothing to do with society at all, or even worse it's my parents fault, I missed a stage, I'm stuck, I'll never be an adult (Freud). But I think that's a very negative way of looking at it. 

What I'm trying to say in this little psychological ramble is that no-one's really got their shit together all the time, so don't worry. You might have your own business but still aren't sure about what washing detergent to buy, you might be like me and thinking you're taking everything in your stride to find yourself on the kitchen floor one night wondering what's happening and how it got this bad. I think we should stop trying to adult and just let it happen, don't focus on it and it will come, forget about the white-man psychology stages, you do you and if you still need to ring your mum to find out what washing detergent to buy, do it, don't be ashamed. Adulthood is a spectrum after all!

I would like to know if you feel like an adult most of the time or sometimes and I would love to here your adulty' opinions on this topic. Are we being taught wrong, or do you think these theories actually have validity? Lemme' know, I'm off to buy some washing detergent now.   

Dear January

Friday, 3 February 2017

It's that time once again, to write a letter to the month, but this month was a shitty one, an un-expected shitty one. But it happened and it's time to bid farewell, thank goodness it's over, for myself and the rest of the world. 

January I'm sorry to say but you've never been my favourite month, never. You bring about a lot of change, a lot of poignant change. For some you bring on change in a good way, but for me it's a hard fall back to normality and reality and this year you really surpassed yourself in your shitty reality check. 

I'm sorry if I sound angry Januray, it's because I am, I'm furious at the situation you brought on. How blind I was at Christmas thinking that everything would be okay, I was excited for the New Year, that's all gone now because of you. You were cold and bitter and although there were sunny days in which the sun lay low in the sky and gave me hope, I only saw that sun a few times because I was hibernating in bed for most of it, how fucking metaphorical. 

Something has changed January, something huge. My five year relationship ended and no, before you ask I am not okay, but I know I will be eventually. Our  break up was amicable and even though I don't want to go into too much detail for Gareth's sake, I will say that he is still my best friend and soul mate. 5 years is a long time January and it's time now to do what we have to do and discover what it's like to be by ourselves for abit and that's okay. You need to be able to live with yourself forever first I love that quote. 

Although you brought this on Januray, I know it's a good decision and I know I will be well and truly happy one day. You can't grow when you're comfortable that's another belter I am learning to live by. I am already making exciting plans for the rest of this year. I'm going to gather all of my passion and energy and focus it onto my work, that's right January I'm going to become a #girlboss watch this space. Emily read my tarot cards recently and they told me I need to be out of my comfort zone for a while, I'm going to hate it but it's going to be good for me. I'm going to learn to focus on myself and although that's going to take a while (and a lot of sit-down-showers) I know I will be okay. 

I'm sad now January and I blame it all on you, but that's okay because you're over now, you're done. And all I need to do now is look into the future and take time to be aware of the present. 

I'm sorry this was a little negative January but I can't desguise the fact that you were just plane shit. But there are brighter things around the corner, I know it.
Goodbye January, you fucker.

Treasure Hunt | January

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

January was pretty quiet for new things, because of Christmas and all that and wanting to start saving, like properly saving this time. But I did manage to gather a few things along the way. Here are a few of the treasures I collected in Januray:

1. Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick | Lolita II_____________________________________

I have always wanted to buy one of these and after purchasing the foundation (review on its way) I decided to cheekily add this lil' beauty into my shopping cart at checkout as well. I have to say that this is the best formula of liquid lipstick I have used. Now I'm not an expert by no means, I only have one other by NYX but it lasts all day and dries fast, what else do you need from a lippy, you tell me?! I also love the colour, I watched a lot of reviews on youtube and this colour really stood out to me, it's very unusual, like a burnt red-brown and it goes with absolutely every shade of eyeshadow. I have been wearing this everyday through Jan and I think I'm in love. I would totally wear this on my wedding day and that's saying a lot!

2. Lush BB Seaweed Fresh Face Mask ________________________________________________

I saved up my Lush pots and exchanged them for a free facemask. If you don't know about this trick and use a lot of Lush products it will change your life (I don't know how you wouldn't know it says it all over the packaging but anyway). Lush face masks, I believe are pretty expensive and I only tend to get them when my skin is either in desperate need of tlc or if I've had a particularly shitty week. So I exchanged my pots and chose this one because the lady said it was good for winter and dry and red skin and I fully trust people who work at Lush so I got it didn't ah'. I bloody love it, it's gentle but also exfoliates enough to get rid of dry skin, I've been using it once every 2 days and I've really been seeing a difference. Also it lasts really long because you don't need a lot at all, so in the mean time I can start counting up my pots again to get another one, it's a win win!

3. Pip & Nut Crunchy Maple Peanut Butter___________________________________________

I actually got this for Christmas so it's a bit of a cheat really, but I only started eating it in late January. Honestly though this is the tastiest peanut butter I've eaten, it's so sweet and salty and delicious. I've been enjoying this on top of cinnamon and raisin bagels in the afternoon for brunch. And if I'm being honest, there was a period of time this week that I just started eating it out of the jar, no shame.


4.Sterling Silver Hooped Earrings ____________________________________________________

These can't be photographed because they are currently in my ears and it took me about 3 hours to put them in so they aren't coming out anytime soon sorry! They're just small silver hoops with a little ball on the bottom, pretty simple but gorgeous! They were a late Christmas present from my auntie and I love them, they really complement my smaller hoops that I already have in my ears as well and I feel like they give more symmetry to my face as well (is that weird?).  I was wanting some sterling silver earrings for a while because I'm sick of buying cheap earrings and them making my ears sore, this gal's got no time for cheapo 'gold' or 'silver' anymore, I'm an adult now okay.

5. La La Land ____________________________________________________________________

Like every human and their dog, I went to see La La Land this month and loved it, like fell head over heels in love with it. I think it was mostly the cinamatogrphy and the soundtrack, but I also liked the plot, especially the ending. No spoilers but it was defnitely a breath of fresh air from the cliched Hollywood ending we're all so used to. I also went to see it at a time in my life where everything going on was so similar to things happening with me and I really resonated with the characters and their position, maybe that's why I cried from beginning to end eh. The only thing I can criticise it for is its lack of diveristy, which many people have faulted it for and I do think we can't just brush it under the carpet because it's there, plain as day, it was about jazz for goodness sake and only John Legend popped up a few times, come on Hollywood you're better than that. Doesn't stop me singing Fools Who Dream when I'm cooking a stir fry though does it, no. 

6. Series of Unfortunate Events ______________________________________________________ 

I know that this show has got a lot of mixed reviews, people seem to really love it or really, really hate it. But as an avid reader of the books when I was younger and being presented with that horrendous film with Jim Carrey in anything would be better than that. I watched one episode and was hooked I loved the style of it, like Wes Anderson and Tim Burton had a lil' baby, I loved how Lemony Snicket  was front and centre and the charcters were cast so well, even the dreary children. Neil Patrick Harris stole the show for me though and he produced it as well which I think you can tell, I loved his character, he was so comical and evil. It was just done so well and it was funny and dark just like the books and I'm so excited for season 2 already!

What's your favourite treasure?