Otiose

Friday, 30 June 2017


I have both recently finished Uni and quit my job and now I am finding many a day where I have nothing to do. No deadlines or things I have to get done unless there are consequences, nothing to complete daily; not to be dramatic but, nothing to get up for in the morning to be honest. When I was busy all I wanted to do was have nothing to do, but now I don't, I feel lost and no matter how many projects I have ladened myself with this feeling of otiosity is not going away. I'm sure many people feel like this at the moment seems as most Uni courses have now finished and it's coming to the end of school time, so I know I am not alone and that's why I have decided to write a melodramatic, long and probably waffly post about it. 

Un-productivity is my vice, if I don't make or do something everyday I feel like shit, literally. Many people feel drained from being productive but I have found if I don't do anything all day I will feel as low in energy as someone who has been at work all day, why am I like this?! Don't get me wrong, for the first 2 weeks of leaving Uni and work I felt brilliant, I wrote songs, caught up on my fave Tv shows, ate endless amounts of granola and just relaxed for the first time in ages. Now I'm living in Northampton with a house full of people that have just finished Uni and I have had so much fun relishing in the fact we don't have to do anything for a while. But it's during the day when everyone's busy with their own projects and things when I start to feel at a loss. I keep thinking about all the things I should be doing, but then when I try and think about them there's nothing urgent.

I realise that this is the perfect opportunity to start new projects and focus on the things I love and I am, but I've found that that doesn't fill up a whole day. I realise that this is quite negative and I feel like I'm complaining, but it's just strange and I'm currently struggling to acclimatise to this new lifestyle. I'm keeping myself as busy as I can and I'm enjoying myself, I have some things I'm working on and I'm starting to build up a routine. I have definitely realised that I find my worth in my productivity and I don't think that's a good thing for one minute. Especially when I made these decisions so I could relax a bit more, I'm going to work on it. 

I think the only way to go about this un-productivity is to do things that you absolutely love that make you feel productive in the long run. Take up a hobby or a project you didn't have time for when you were working. Watch that 13 season TV show you didn't have time to immerse yourself in.Start thinking about things you could do now to help you get to where you want to be this time next year. It's simple really and you might even start to enjoy this time to yourself, time to think, time to indulge. It's just all about acclimatising and establishing a more relaxed routine, but a routine non the less. 

I think I've just solved my own problem. This was one of those therapeutic style stream-of-consciousness posts and I think it's done its job. I need to learn to relish in this relaxation, but when I do need to do something productive, I can do it for me and no-one else. That's why I think creating a blog if you haven't already is perfect for people in the same position as me. Because you are doing something productive, you are writing, you are improving your skills but you're enjoying every minute of it. Almost 3 years a go this month I set up this blog for the same reasons and I must say it helped so much with my productivity levels. But do it for you and if you want to watch that TV show, you watch it and if you want to take a 5 hour nap during the day because you have nothing else to do, you do that; I wouldn't recommend feeling like you've been run over for the rest of the day though. What I'm trying to say is there's always something to do, find it and if you enjoy it, keep doing it. New projects are exciting and good for productivity levels, in the words of Shia La Beouf with a little bit of Northern on top; 'just do it eh' or not it's completely up to you now. 

I would love to know if any of you are feeling the same and what you're doing to combat it. Do you thrive on productivity like myself or are you happy enough with relaxing? Is Otiosity a problem for you too or do you relish in it?





3 comments

  1. I know exactly how you feel hun. I hate feeling unproductive but then I also hate it when I get in to a cycle of doing blog posts because I feel I have to and not because I want to. Since I started my new(ish) job I just haven't had the time to do the things that make me happy so I really want to get back in to that and do more blogging that makes ME happy. It's super important to have down days where you do absolutely sod all though :) Great article hun xx

    Sophie Elizabeth
    www.popcornandglitter.co.uk

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  2. Oh! I know how you feel. I work part-time and the days I am off I hate feeling unproductive, while the days I'm working I wanna be unproductive so bad. It's about giving yourself the time to be unproductive, and to be okay with it! Those down/lazy days are so important!
    Skeleton Weirdo

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  3. Know that feeling especially now that I'm not in school everyday. I have a part time job so all I do is just read and walk the dog all day. Nice blog!

    Stella xx
    https://onegirlblogger.blogspot.com/

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